Teaching Children to be Responsible
This week’s discussion was on parenting and the impotence of parents being there for their kids. Children want to get their way, but that does not mean that they won’t appreciate it when their parents don’t let them have everything they think they need. There are several ways that parents can help their children grow up to be good members of society. By creating boundaries that protect their children, but also giving them chances to make choices, grow, and feel like an important valued member of their family.
Creating boundaries to protect children is important because they are not fully developed individuals yet. Things that can seem ok to them could be something that is harmful, but they just don’t have the skills to recognize it as such. It is important to know that the boundaries we make for toddlers will be different from the ones that we give to teens. This is not only because teens are at a point in their lives where they want to practice the skills that they have been learning, but because they should be a part of the process of making the rules and boundaries which because they help make they will feel more inclined to fallow. Another important thing is to ensure that inside of those boundaries there will be space that allows them to make choices that they can learn from while still feeling looked after.
For children to feel truly looked after each parent needs to be the adult and tell their kids “No” potentially more often than they say yes. This teaches children that they can’t have everything that they may think they want and because they can’t have whatever they want when they declare that they want it can teach them responsibility. Like if they were to break a toy, game, electronic, etc. . . and they are told no they can’t have a replacement because they need to be better at taking care of their belongings before they can. This teaches them to take better care of their things and to take responsibility for the things that they have.
Responsibility can be a challenging thing to teach. One way that kids get to practice responsibility is by having chores to do, which can help the kids feel needed in their family. This feeling of being a valued member of the family is very important because it helps kids feel like they are not replaceable, and that they are a very important part of their family. When parents pay their children to be active members of their family the children can feel like they are not important or valued because they are workers being paid, instead of family members pulling together to make their home a nice place from them all to be.
To help demonstrate this I will share an experience that I had that really showed me the differences in being paid to do chores or doing them because that is what is expected of you. This story takes place at a family reunion several years ago. While just sitting around listening to my aunts and uncles my mom started working in the kitchen. My Dad who was very tired from the long drive looked over at me and told me to go help her, so I got up and went to go help upon my return my uncle who happened to overhear my Dad’s request asked with some bit of amazement how my Dad did that. My father knowing that my uncle’s family’s chore chart was set up to pay for accomplished chores said that he did not believe in paying kids to do things that they should do as part of a family.
From this experience, I have learned the importance of hard work. Though I don’t love chores and I don’t mind getting out of them I do know how to work and I know that when things are expected of me that I can do them. It is so important to learn responsibility and that doing what we are supposed does not give us tangible rewards it just makes us feel really good about what we have to offer.
Creating boundaries to protect children is important because they are not fully developed individuals yet. Things that can seem ok to them could be something that is harmful, but they just don’t have the skills to recognize it as such. It is important to know that the boundaries we make for toddlers will be different from the ones that we give to teens. This is not only because teens are at a point in their lives where they want to practice the skills that they have been learning, but because they should be a part of the process of making the rules and boundaries which because they help make they will feel more inclined to fallow. Another important thing is to ensure that inside of those boundaries there will be space that allows them to make choices that they can learn from while still feeling looked after.
For children to feel truly looked after each parent needs to be the adult and tell their kids “No” potentially more often than they say yes. This teaches children that they can’t have everything that they may think they want and because they can’t have whatever they want when they declare that they want it can teach them responsibility. Like if they were to break a toy, game, electronic, etc. . . and they are told no they can’t have a replacement because they need to be better at taking care of their belongings before they can. This teaches them to take better care of their things and to take responsibility for the things that they have.
Responsibility can be a challenging thing to teach. One way that kids get to practice responsibility is by having chores to do, which can help the kids feel needed in their family. This feeling of being a valued member of the family is very important because it helps kids feel like they are not replaceable, and that they are a very important part of their family. When parents pay their children to be active members of their family the children can feel like they are not important or valued because they are workers being paid, instead of family members pulling together to make their home a nice place from them all to be.
To help demonstrate this I will share an experience that I had that really showed me the differences in being paid to do chores or doing them because that is what is expected of you. This story takes place at a family reunion several years ago. While just sitting around listening to my aunts and uncles my mom started working in the kitchen. My Dad who was very tired from the long drive looked over at me and told me to go help her, so I got up and went to go help upon my return my uncle who happened to overhear my Dad’s request asked with some bit of amazement how my Dad did that. My father knowing that my uncle’s family’s chore chart was set up to pay for accomplished chores said that he did not believe in paying kids to do things that they should do as part of a family.
From this experience, I have learned the importance of hard work. Though I don’t love chores and I don’t mind getting out of them I do know how to work and I know that when things are expected of me that I can do them. It is so important to learn responsibility and that doing what we are supposed does not give us tangible rewards it just makes us feel really good about what we have to offer.
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