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Divorce and the Challenges when Blending Families

This week’s discussion was on divorce and stepfamilies, as well as the effects and some of the challenges associated with blending families that have been broken. Whether a family separated because of tragedy or not, I am not trying to say that family groups that have gone their separate ways are bad by using the word broken. I am using it to clearly identify the change in a family that occurs in the case of divorce or death. Divorce is not what any of us want to go through and yet it is something people choose even when going into marriage. They never thought they would be the person who would make that decision. The unfortunate thing about many divorces is that the two individuals to divorce each other will often regret it years later. When looking back they say that they could have and wished they would have saved their marriage instead of opting for divorce. Something that we as a class mentioned early in the class was the idea of not walking into marriage with divorce as a plan ...
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Teaching Children to be Responsible

This week’s discussion was on parenting and the impotence of parents being there for their kids. Children want to get their way, but that does not mean that they won’t appreciate it when their parents don’t let them have everything they think they need. There are several ways that parents can help their children grow up to be good members of society. By creating boundaries that protect their children, but also giving them chances to make choices, grow, and feel like an important valued member of their family. Creating boundaries to protect children is important because they are not fully developed individuals yet. Things that can seem ok to them could be something that is harmful, but they just don’t have the skills to recognize it as such. It is important to know that the boundaries we make for toddlers will be different from the ones that we give to teens. This is not only because teens are at a point in their lives where they want to practice the skills that they have been learning...
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The Importance of a Father

This week’s discussion was the importance of fathers and the critical role they play in the home and family, and how our understanding of their importance to family life is being lost over time. The change in how families work and experience has changed over the years. Fathers play a bigger role in families than is often discussed or fully understood. Fatherhood is not often thought of as supremely important, and as time moves on our comprehension of the supreme importance of fatherhood is decreasing. Fathers are role models for their sons. They show them through example by what they say and do in differing circumstances how to be the best they can be. The example of a father can show young men how to treat women in a respectful way. The presence of a father in the home gives their sons something to expire to grow up to be like. Fathers are not only important for their sons, but for their daughters as well. If a father is in the home daughters can feel supported, loved, and safe. Whil...
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Communicating Effectively

This week’s discussion was on challenges in communication. Communication is hard. We can say something with good intentions and in our heads know exactly what we mean, but the people that we say it to can not see our thought process and so at times are not able to get understand 100% of what we mean by what we say. This can lead to them becoming frustrated or offended. Especially since a lot of the meaning from what we say does not come from the words we say as much as the tones we use and the nonverbal cues that we give off while we talk. The most important part of communication is listening to what people say. Really listening takes work, it does not just happen. To really be listening we have to not be focused on coming up with how we will respond to what is being said. To be an active listener we should at times during a conversation repeat back what has been said to make sure that we understand what they said in the way they meant. This can be really tricky. We try to listen to ...
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The Importance of Stress in Our Lives

This week’s discussion was on the family and the effect that stress can have on it. Though stress is most often thought of as a predominantly bad thing, stress is also important to help us become stronger and better than we currently are. Despite this growing from stress only happens when we use the correct coping skills. There are many things that can cause stress in our everyday lives: work, school, expenses, and many other stress-causing experiences. Stress can be big or small depending on the cause and the overall effect that it has on the family. It is important to know that not all forms of stress are equal to each other. The death of a child is said to be one of the most stressful experiences that people go through, while the stress of a child playing in the mud can be quickly overcome. Because of these stressors that occur it is important to be able to cope effectively with them for the health of a person's marriage and family. When stress comes into our lives we naturall...
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Togetherness

This week’s discussion was on some topics that are not often discussed. In fact, to some degree, they are avoided. As a class, we discussed the importance of better understanding the differences between men and women during intercourse. We also discussed how the media has painted a picture about intercourse and that is what people expect to see. But as always a lot of the work that goes into making a marriage work is lost in the dramatization of the shows or the way things are explained in the moment. We also discussed fidelity and some of the things that people can do without realizing that they are being unfaithful to their spouse. Movies, shows, and general presumption about intermarriage relations have given false ideas about what people expect and don’t expect. One of the important pieces that is lost is the amount of work that goes into making sure that both you and your spouse are clear about your needs. Making sure that both of you feel comfortable and are willing to not outru...
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The Transitions In Marriage

The discussion this week was on the importance of the transitions that happen before and after marriage. There are several different transitions that happen: the transition from working closely with our parents to working more with our spouse, one that happens when the first child is born and then when additional children are born and another one when the kids leave. One of my class discussions was on the importance of the engaged couple being the ones working together to put their wedding together and that leaning on their family can make things harder for them in the long run. One way of leaning on their parents could be letting their parents pay for the majority of their wedding instead of doing it themselves. I know that the culture for weddings is to have a big grandiose party that is very expensive, but a wedding is a celebration and the amount of money put into it is not as important as the people who are being celebrated. Having a huge guest list and using all of the wedding ...
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