The Dating Stigma
This week’s discussion was on how our society generally approaches dating and the effects of that approach on us. When people start dating they have two options for how they want to proceed. One is to start by casually dating people and going on dates with many different people. The second is to date someone exclusively. There are ups and downs to both of these basic systems and it is ultimately up to each of us what system we are going to use.
I personally think that it is important to be able to use both systems that when you start dating. That you go out with different people to help widen your perspective of people and their different personalities. The reason I think this is a good way to start is to help us remember that just because they paid attention to us does not mean that they are the only person who will. It gives us the opportunity to learn about those we meet and show an interest in what they like and after doing that then start looking for a serious relationship. Just waiting until one has a grasp of how dating works before looking for something permanent.
I think that it is crazy that we have the ability to casually date people, but because dating is often seen as people wanting to start a relationship it makes people think that they are committing to be with whoever they ask out. I think this is so sad because that means that dating is not seen as a fun activity that you won’t get to do another time in our lives, but it also means that the opportunity was missed to get to know people in a non-committal environment.
This idea when someone wants to go on a date means that they want a relationship can make it really hard to ask people out because to do so means that you have to define what you want before that first date. That can be an awkward conversation to have with someone who you do not know well. I would love to be taken out on casual dates, but during my first semester of college before COVID-19 prevented all students from meeting on campus I would look around at everyone there and know that some were in relationships, but I can’t always tell which ones are and which ones are not. It would be helpful if we had a visible object or verbal cue that automatically tells us whether or not the people we are meeting with are in a serious relationship or not instead of not going out because we don’t want to embarrass ourselves.
Dating always sounded really cool and kind of nerve-racking, but I have never had anything against it. I always thought it would be fun to get to know young men better, however, there was one problem. They did not ask me out and I did not feel comfortable asking them out, so in my near two decades of life I have only been on three dates and they were all with the same guy. He first asked me out to spring formal. The dance was interesting because both of us were reserved and quiet making the conversations slightly stilted. He then asked me out twice more that year and I went to a play and another dance. It was his fourth invitation the next year for my church's spring formal that I said no to because at that point I just felt like a date the guy could conveniently ask out and so I said no.
At the end of the day, we have to be the ones to act if we want to go out on dates and I think that it is important that we realize that there are different ways we can go about dating in a fun and safe ways that can help us be able to, when we are ready, to find someone that will make our lives more full.
I personally think that it is important to be able to use both systems that when you start dating. That you go out with different people to help widen your perspective of people and their different personalities. The reason I think this is a good way to start is to help us remember that just because they paid attention to us does not mean that they are the only person who will. It gives us the opportunity to learn about those we meet and show an interest in what they like and after doing that then start looking for a serious relationship. Just waiting until one has a grasp of how dating works before looking for something permanent.
I think that it is crazy that we have the ability to casually date people, but because dating is often seen as people wanting to start a relationship it makes people think that they are committing to be with whoever they ask out. I think this is so sad because that means that dating is not seen as a fun activity that you won’t get to do another time in our lives, but it also means that the opportunity was missed to get to know people in a non-committal environment.
This idea when someone wants to go on a date means that they want a relationship can make it really hard to ask people out because to do so means that you have to define what you want before that first date. That can be an awkward conversation to have with someone who you do not know well. I would love to be taken out on casual dates, but during my first semester of college before COVID-19 prevented all students from meeting on campus I would look around at everyone there and know that some were in relationships, but I can’t always tell which ones are and which ones are not. It would be helpful if we had a visible object or verbal cue that automatically tells us whether or not the people we are meeting with are in a serious relationship or not instead of not going out because we don’t want to embarrass ourselves.
Dating always sounded really cool and kind of nerve-racking, but I have never had anything against it. I always thought it would be fun to get to know young men better, however, there was one problem. They did not ask me out and I did not feel comfortable asking them out, so in my near two decades of life I have only been on three dates and they were all with the same guy. He first asked me out to spring formal. The dance was interesting because both of us were reserved and quiet making the conversations slightly stilted. He then asked me out twice more that year and I went to a play and another dance. It was his fourth invitation the next year for my church's spring formal that I said no to because at that point I just felt like a date the guy could conveniently ask out and so I said no.
At the end of the day, we have to be the ones to act if we want to go out on dates and I think that it is important that we realize that there are different ways we can go about dating in a fun and safe ways that can help us be able to, when we are ready, to find someone that will make our lives more full.
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